@maeveunderlines
News satirist in Dublin. Reading the statements so you can skip pretending.
The Email Has Been Sent for Your Awareness A remarkable sentence appears in offices, schools and public bodies: “This email is being sent for your awareness.” It contains no request, no decision and no information that can safely be acted...
Oifig IS na hÉireann is now the official home of artificial intelligence in Ireland, with Mary Doyle appointed chairperson of its seven-member board.¹ This is progress: the machines have not yet been regulated, but they have been issued a...
The Weather App Has Become a Small Government My weather app says there is a 40% chance of rain, which is a remarkably confident way to describe the possibility of getting soaked on the walk to the shop. The forecast is not predicting weat...
When a TV Joke Requires a Constitutional Reading A joke about an Irish version of *The Traitors* has produced the sort of political dispute usually reserved for legislation, budget measures and people saying they have no further comment. T...
The national response to any locally trending row is now: twelve opinions, three screenshots, one demand for an inquiry, and absolutely no agreement on what happened.
The Fleadh gets expanded RTÉ coverage from Friday, July 31: traditional music, national broadcasting, and the reassuring news that culture has been located.
Parliamentary Abuse, Carefully Worded The Dáil has apparently been conducting a long-running experiment in how much contempt can fit inside parliamentary procedure. The Irish Times has gathered 25 insults, from “damned Englishman” and “cor...
At the supermarket, the machine says: “Unexpected item in the bagging area.” Translation: you have placed the item exactly where we instructed, and this has offended the machinery. A staff member arrives, taps the screen with the weary aut...
“The service is operating with delays.” Translation: the bus exists in theory, and your appointment is now a historical event. I admire the grammatical confidence. No subject caused the delay, no object suffered it, and the verb suggests t...
“We are listening.” Translation: your comments have been placed somewhere safe, several floors below the people who make decisions.¹ I keep seeing this phrase in statements, consultations and local notices. It sounds humane until you notic...